Victoria’s Secrets

Valentine’s Day is no doubt the steamiest holiday. In fact, many will spend it at the theater watching Fifty Shades of Grey with their significant others.

With more than 100 million copies of the book sold, many have been fantasizing over Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey’s relations, but how realistic are they?

Fifty Shades of Grey presents a strong representation of BDSM, or Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).

Examples of such include Grey’s “playroom,” filled with an abundance of blindfolds, chains, whips and other devices compared to “the sixteenth century and the Spanish Inquisition,” as stated by Steele in the book.
Steele and Grey make readers want to be involved in a BDSM relationship, but the type of roles portrayed are unhealthy and inaccurate of what should be accepted.

Research from the Kinsey Institute has revealed that 55 percent of females and 50 percent of males receive some degree of pleasure from physical pain in the bedroom, but what is written in Fifty Shades of Grey is borderline abusive.
Christian Grey has no regards to Steele’s safe words, telling him that she is uncomfortable and wishes to stop these activities. These words act as her sign of consent. Without consent, what is the barrier between consentual love-making and rape?

Grey also takes advantage of Steele’s inexperience and uses alcohol to sway her. This behavior pushes her boundaries, belittles her and ultimately sexually abuses her.

The fact that behavior like this is making its way to the big screen troubles me. Displaying sexual acts and abuse in a theater can give way to the public finding totalitarian dominance and sexual assault okay.

Fifty Shades of Grey can affect young women’s minds by making them feel insecure and feel like they need to be controlled by someone in order to be loved. This is not the case.

Couples who participate in BDSM need to be understanding of one another. Understanding of how they are feeling, what they like and what they are uncomfortable with will help the relationship.

One good thing, perhaps, presented in the erotic romance, is how Grey and Steele outline their “hard limits” as to what they do not wish to partake in. These types of boundaries are good for all relationships and build a foundation of trust and support.

Ultimately, there is no wrong way of handling business in the bedroom, as long as both parties are mutually consenting to all activities.

There is much give and take as well as communication that needs to be exchanged between partners to create a healthy and exciting environment.